The Desire to Scratch

Advertisements

~The Spiritual (Video) Game of Life~

~The Spiritual (Video) Game of Life~
 
Level 1: On Sunday, I hit something on my way home and got a flat tire.
Level 2: When I went to go get it fixed this morn (at the closest dealership), there was extra paperwork that needed to be re-done bc my VIN number was inputted wrong in their system. So, I would have to go to the original dealership where I initially got my car, so that they could fix it. It would take 2 hrs. to fix the paperwork.
Level 3: I was unsure of the cost at this point (also, I needed gas). I didn’t have time to go to the other dealership (which is further away) this morn, so I had to wait until after work… then it rained… and there was traffic…
Level 4: What normally would’ve taken a half an hour took an hour and a half. (Plus, I’m still driving on a doughnut, mind you… praying that I don’t die or get into an accident, lol.)
Then, I had to wait like 3 hours after that in order to get everything done. (I was hungry/falling asleep, yo. lol)
 
~But life has a way of evening itself out~
 
Here are the positives of this situation:
 
1. When I initially hit the ‘something’ in the street, it was as I was turning on my street (like, literally, a few houses down), so I didn’t need a tow truck, and didn’t get stranded. (Woot!) 💁
2. I had some nice father-daughter time with my otousan, who helped me to change it, and even taught me how to change it myself… just in case, for a next time! (I finished changing it halfway through, and it wasn’t so hard as I thought it would be.)
3. I had to get my tire replaced (they couldn’t repair it), but it was at no extra cost to me since I already had tire coverage with my lease (so yay)!
4. All of that extra time waiting was well spent in reflection, and doing creative/fun things. (It’s times like this when I’m glad that I bring my laptop/3DSxl with me, lol.) Also, that hour and a half of driving to the dealership was spent listening to an audiobook, and coming to some realizations (which I will share below). Btw, the audiobook was “Facing your Giants” by Max Lucado.
 
~What I learned~
 
I’m starting to look at trials/setbacks as like ‘levels’ (in a video game) to overcome and to beat. And if I’m having difficulty beating the level, then I need to see what God is trying to teach me through them, in order to win and move onto the next challenge. (And maybe there is a calming FMV to watch in between~)
Remember, I’m talking spiritually here. There are some things we can’t control in our earthly lives, in the physical world. But we have (much more, if not all) control over what *we* do and how we learn/think with our minds/spirits.
 
Anyhow…
 
~When it is difficult to beat a level~
 
Maybe we need a ‘power up’ (a boost in energy), or a new weapon to beat the level/boss (some thing or some strategy you haven’t tried yet, or a spiritual weapon/defense you are not using, or didn’t think you had); maybe we just need to gain more experience and ‘level up’ (and learning through repetition… after you keep dying on the same level/part, eventually, you gotta try to figure out what you are doing wrong! lol); or maybe we just need to be humble and read the manual… (the Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth, y’know.)
 
There’s always a way to beat/overcome what you are facing…
 
Do you seem to have troubles controlling your “character” (both types (the physical body and mental/moral character))? Learn the controls… learn how YOU function. There may be a certain set of buttons you didn’t know how to use properly… Or sometimes, it just takes experience ‘playing’ in order to get it (to be second-nature)…
 
Is the game becoming boring to you? Perhaps it is TOO repetitive, and you just need a change… Perhaps your close friend likes it, and you feel a bit weird for not liking it.
Don’t just give up on video games, altogether! You just have to find which genre/game best suits you! 😉 (This is finding what you are good at, passionate about, and what your likes/dislikes are, in life.) What inspires you? You gotta find it! But sometimes the gift may find you too. 🙂
 
All in all, try to find the hope in all situations. Even if the physical reality is very slim to change, you can at least change your mental state for the better. Without hope, how is there even a CHANCE to change anything?…
 
Look for the lesson in how to overcome every setback. And when you DO beat the level/enemy, don’t get too cocky… there is always another challenge ahead! 😉
 
We WILL have troubles in this world (John 16:23), but luckily, we have access to the best game designer who has overcome the world. 🙂
 
~If you *think* you are facing an unbeatable level, remember…~
 
1. As long as you are alive, there is hope in beating it.
2. Look for the lesson– if it is too hard for you, don’t berate yourself for not ‘being good enough’ to overcome the situation. Start small(er), and work/practice from there.
3. Maybe some difficulties aren’t meant to be ‘beaten’ or ‘defeated’. Maybe they are just a ‘thorn’ which God allows us to have (2 Corinthians 12:6-10) in order that we would not become conceited, but lean on Him for our strength.
(1 Cor 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”)
4. If you are able to get into the mind of the game designer, you are more likely to beat the level. (And maybe all of this car stuff happened just so I would be inspired enough to tell you all of this.)
Be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2) (like a Spiritual Super Saiyan!), and become a master at that game, yo! Then, if others have trouble beating it, you will know how to help them… 🙂
 
~LOVE IS AN ACTION VERB!~ ;*

Difficulty

#nonewart

I’ve been writing this story for a good (almost) half of my life (14/15 yrs); it never seems to get any easier, on what I want to say, or how I want to say it! But, just because something is difficult doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do it, or that you should give up on it. Sometimes the things that are the hardest to say are the most important…

Just a reminder for myself. 😉

(p.s. Thumbnailing now)

(p.p.s. Happy belated Thanksgiving! 🙂 )

Thar she blows…!

Hey again! (There goes another ‘hiatus’/long break in between posts!)

During this almost-past year, I’ve discovered that God allows certain thing to happen for a reason. I am still discovering the reason ‘why’ on so many things, but in the meantime, I get constantly reassured to just keep on pressing on, and to see the light in every seemingly dark situation.

So… it’s interesting, yes.

Anyhow, I wanted to say how I finally updated my site a bit ago, organized some things… but… now my website isn’t working! lol -___- (Off go to fix that. Maybe it’ll be fixed by the time you read this xD (maybe not, lol)) Actually, it looks like it’s just the hosting site, itself, which is down… xD Might have to just wait it out, lol.

I updated the “Comics” page with some new-ish art… My publisher for “Mystery of the Black Water” is working on getting online orders for my (and others’) comics, so I can at least make that available for you too. 🙂 Currently working on pt. 2 of that…

Still excited to see TJM (Hey Arnold: The Jungle Movie)!!! 😀 😀 (Next year, 2017!!)

I may go back to work on MSI (My Sweet Indulgence)… tbh, it was supposed to be a one-time thing, long ago… but it seems that people like it, so that’s cool!

I also want to work on/rewrite NKTR (Nekoturr’s Realm– I’ve already rewritten some of it); I feel like I’ve been saying that for the longest though… actions speak louder than words tho, yess? So, I just have to build up the courage and just do it! lol. But how to make it not so cliff-hangery all of the time, and give it some resolution in between…? Still working on that… xD

Spiritually-speaking, I have a lot to work on. Me and God need some serious one-on-one time to figure my heart out. But never stop believing! He has given me so many little gifts and encouragements… it’s super cool, actually! (To see God answer prayers on even the little things; even things I haven’t really overtly prayed about, but I needed it anyway.)

God is so cool 🙂 Give Him a chance!

Again, still looking for the good in my dark situations, but as long as I don’t give up (and the temptation is really there), I know that He’ll guide me through.
I know some people have different beliefs, and that’s okay. That’s just where you are. But I believe in my God, not just because my parents believed it, or I read it out of a book, but He’s also something that I’ve experienced, first hand. I didn’t have strong faith for a while– and even now, it wavers from time to time (depending on my situation, but I need to work on that)– but once I finally ALLOWED God to change my heart, and trust in Him, I finally was ABLE to experience Him and some of his direct blessings. But without the trust, there was no way I would be feeling or knowing anything too soon. As stated before, I still have a lot to work on, but I’m hoping that God will work with me through my weaknesses. (And boy, do I have a lot of those!) Lol

Hope you guys are doing fine!! Live your life with no regrets!!

p.s. Oh!! I’m also trying to finish up, at least, the written version of Trunks’ Date. You can view it here!
p.p.s. Dragonball Super is super awesome!! lol (It’s gotten my inner, old-school-anime-fanatic self coming to life again, lol.)

Hey Arnold! returns! + personal goal stuff!

Yo, peoples! It’s been a while. (My blog/journal seems to always have these large gaps in the middle of posting, lol.) Sry. Real life, ya know. Anyways.

Life lately has been strange. A strange mix of events.

For the good news (if you haven’t already heard): Hey Arnold! is returning to Nickelodeon!!
http://variety.com/2015/tv/news/hey-arnold-tv-movie-nickelodeon-reviving-shows-1201646666
Whooohoooo!!! (<–Honestly, this doesn’t fully express my excitement, because I’ve known about this for a while now, and have expressed it more fully in other places, lol.)
But what great news!! This was a group effort though. All of the fans, Craig, Nick, etc. After all of our hard work campaigning, and getting Nick’s attention… buying all of the merch that we could… finally… (It’s coming back as a T.V. movie for now (TJM!!), but maybe we’ll get another season or series if we’re patient and nice. 🙂 (And if the movie does well in ratings/sales…)
Just goes to show you that you shouldn’t give up on something, if it’s something that you really want! Anything can happen! :)…

Which comes to my next problem. My personal art goals are all over the place, man. The TJM news is very inspiring, sure. It’s helped to bring me back into my writing/drawing mood. I’ve felt– for a long while– that I’ve just been doing stuff “for work” and not for me… bu that’s not how my art began as, you know? It later turned into just pleasing others via commissions or with companies. Sure, in order to have a job in art (or anything), you have to serve. But shouldn’t there be a balance if it’s your personal way of expression too? I’ve felt like I’ve given up multiple times on myself…
Although I used to blatantly tell myself that I would rather commit suicide than to give up on my dreams… well, after realizing that killing yourself would be sending you straight to hell, I opted out of that, but… I had already been dead, and been “killed”/ given up on the inside. That’s… just as bad, imo. Having no motivation, just living until you die. What kind of a life is that?

Secondly, I also want to honor God with my art/comics/stories. But just having a heck of a time in figuring out how. The way things are currently going… well… it just seems that things are going veryyyy slow. I have many stories in my head, but there’s no way that I’ll be able to finish them all if things continue like the way they are now. I just need to do something… different… I don’t know what that looks like yet. But I’ll figure it out, hopefully.

Thirdly, I just feel a sense of overwhelming guilt in not finishing my fancomic, Trunks’ Date. I really don’t feel the motivation to finish it (right now, at least). But I just feel guilty about it. Is that a good, bad or neutral thing? Other comic/art professionals I’ve talked to have told me that I shouldn’t do it anymore. I do understand their position. I feel guilty for giving it up, since it’s gone on for so long, and I want to move on to my personal, original art/stories more, but… maybe there’s an off-chance that I could go back to finish it once I get my original art-life in order more?

I am just out of balance, in general.

But such is life in figuring out how to live. Also, just trying to be more grateful for my friends and family– because you never know what might happen tomorrow. I want to prepare my soul for death, even if that does seem a bit morbid. but really, that’s just reality. You never know…
I’ve seen too many deaths happen this year– either to people I’ve worked with, knew offhandedly, or knew of friends’ relatives who have passed away. Sometimes suddenly, sometimes they knew it beforehand. But, the result is still the same: it just made me realize how short our lives can be, and how much we (I) take it for granted, sometimes. I want to live with no regrets. I also want to die with no regrets. I just have to continually ask myself (and really see this as my reality)– what would I like to accomplish if today/tomorrow/a week from now was my last day? What would be more important for me?

It’s not even having money, or being ‘successful’ which would be most important; but the depth in how much you loved others, your relationships, is what I think will be all that matters in the end. (My relationship with God is number one, and then my relationships with others, afterward.) How much did I love others, and honor/love God in doing so? So, instead of being in a defaultly selfish mode (as per the usual), I have these things to figure out. Because– as stated before– you just never know.
On my death bed, I would like to think that I “did my best.” But I have a long way to go.

Moar (just two) pages + stuff

Hello! Here are two new pages to Trunks’ Date.

trunks__date__ch_8__page_265_by_genaminna-d8ce03q   trunks__date__ch_8__page_266_by_genaminna-d8ce139

(ノ´﹏`)ノ 彡 lɐuɹnoſ

I apologize for taking so long for any updates with TD, in general (not these past few weeks, but the years before that). I understand that not many people are as interested as they used to be in it, because of the lack of updates… and for that, I apologize. (I don’t blame you.) Regarding that recent poll, you guys really don’t care (well most of you, lol) if it takes me another 15 yrs. to finish the story??

As for the others who just wanted the text version (if I take too long), I at least want to reach a certain point before I think about ending it. Whether I make it all the way to the total end of the comic or not (which, when mapped out, seems to be 16+ chapters), we shall see. I don’t think I would like giving the script to some, and not to others. Too many spoiler opportunities…:P But this has gotten so far along in my head, that it’s like a cancer almost, lol, so I need to get it out, somehow. Hence, why I am writing it all out first. But still, things may change as I draw it, so…

But the same sort of goes for my original works too. I need to get them out, also. And I don’t have much spare time between work-work to do both (at least, consistently). So… We shall see…

I just need to practice, in general, more. XD Whether it be originals or not, lol. (But how will I get better at my own, original stories (and ever be a real pro) if I don’t practice doing them?)

Don’t get me wrong; I would still like to finish it/TD (in drawn/comic form), someday, but if people are just not as interested as they used to be, then what can I do? (???) Now, this doesn’t mean that I ONLY do my stories to please other people– that is what I am actually trying to avoid (being a people-pleaser)– but I WOULD like it if others were to like it… If I can brighten someone’s day or make someone think with my stories/art.

Maybe it is just ME who is not all that interested… I mean, I AM, but, I still need to work on my original comics too… maybe I can do both? It just seems so very heavy to juggle such long projects at once… and I don’t like seeing things, unfinished… (As for “that” one Gh/Vi fanfic I did long ago… don’t think I will complete that one, but *that’s* for other reasons…(other than time, etc… >_> ))

I’m trying to figure out which choice I would regret the least… like if I died tomorrow, which story would I feel the worst at not completing?…

I just don’t know >_>… (Well, I kind of know, but do I have the courage/will to act on it?)

I just feel bad for submitting, and I don’t have time to check out people’s pages like I used to, properly, to thank them, etc., or just because I’m interested to see what they’re doing. DA is kind of… not as big/important to me as it was, in the past… (is it just me?) But it doesn’t mean the people are less important… I just suck at keeping in touch with others. (Facebook/in person is easier. XD) So, the problem is just probably all me XD. I just have to figure out what I am going to do with my incongruent self… -_- (since all of my inner parts are basically disagreeing with one another). Well, that journal kind of came out of nowhere! lol.

Goodnight! 😛 (Gotta try to get over my cold…)

Website is back up! + Other stuff

The website is back up! (Finally!) I still have a few tweaks to work out here and there, but for the most part, it’s working okay! XD

I’ve also added the comic that I did for the Silent Manga competition on there…

And speaking of manga, I’m really torn. I feel like I want to start on a new comic, but I’m the type of person where, if I don’t have enough drive to finish something (or if I am not motivated by the initial thing that got me started), then it is very, very hard for me to finish something. But I feel like I want to… I just don’t want it to end up being another unfinished project in the works, you know? (Not to say that I don’t plan on finishing the ones I’m currently working on…)

That’s all. ( ̄∠ )ノ (Random babbling.)